| | It's day 996, and I'm beginning to panic.
Ok, well, those 2 things don't have anything to do to each other. But the panicking is tiresome. It has to do with the fact that I'm leaving for college in 8 days and I'm getting nervous. This next week is completely packed with things that all got pushed to the end of the summer: getting a haircut, barbecues, piano lessons, visiting with friends, writing my paper on the Great Gatsby. After so many months of rarely having a commitment, this is really an abrupt change.
And then there's the whole deal with it being a new place. Am I going to meet people, am I going to like it there? Am I going to like my classes? For that matter, what are my classes? Will credits transfer? How will it be living with a complete stranger? (Ok, I've done that before, but that was 4 years ago, and I'm different now.) How will I survive the communal bathroom? And don't get me started on the swim test. Shudder.
Summer's coming to an end, and for some reason I choose this time to start obsessing over the future. Am I going to get married? Do I even want to? What about kids? Right now I think definitely not, but what if that changes. And before that even happens, am I ever going to be in a relationship? I've been single since what, beginning of 2002 I guess. That's more than enough time to start believing that it's just not going to happen. What kind of job will I have? Am I even going to graduate college? Will I ever stop sucking in social situations? I'm full of questions but I don't have the answers.
This post is coming out slightly emo and that's not how I want it to be. If you are thinking emo right now, don't. Think... wispy. Clouds of slight confusion, but hopefully concealing a concrete truth beyond. That's what I'm searching for, I'll cross my fingers that some of my concerns will be allieviated in the coming weeks. And for the rest, the long term stuff? I guess I'll tell myself that it doesn't matter, it's so far off that there's no point in worrying about it now. That's what "they" tell us to do, right? |
| | Posted 8/8/2006 5:32 PM - 2 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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